


10 - No Good Deed

by Caera1996



Series: The Basics of Primary Ed. 'verse [12]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: AU, LAWG, M/M, Request Fill, TBoPE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-28
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-27 20:10:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/983104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caera1996/pseuds/Caera1996
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim attempts a simple home repair, and ends up having to deal with the very things that he fears the most. Hurt after a fall, he completely relies on Bones to get him through the terror-inducing medical phobia he's had to deal with since he was a child. Part of the TBoPE/LAWG verse, but also stands alone. Complete, in two parts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A special thanks to Mijan and Kel1970, who gave their expertise, knowledge and contribution to the medical and technical aspects of the Paramedic/ambulance and hospital parts.

Jim loved their new house. He loved everything about it. He loved the traditional lines, the traditional color – white with dark trim and shutters – he loved where it was. He loved that there was so much room for him and Bones and Jo. Most of all, and most importantly, he loved that it was  _their_  house. He and Bones bought it together. It was theirs, in a way that the apartment hadn't been. Although Jim never, ever felt like he wasn't home when he moved into the apartment with them – years ago now…he'd joined them there.

This house, though…this was something they chose together, as a family. They bought it together, they had both names on the paperwork, and money from both of them was used in the down payment.

It was a great house. And it was theirs, together.

It was  _home_.

They'd moved in a month ago, and were pretty settled in already. Some rooms were still bare, and it would take a while to finish completely furnishing the much bigger space. But the rooms they lived in the most felt inviting, warm and comfortable.

They were also still learning about their house…and last night, during a rare down pour, they learned that there was a small leak in the roof over the dining room. The house was a two-story house, but the dining room was in a section of the house that didn't have any rooms above it, so while the roof was pretty high and slanted, it wasn't as high as some other sections.

Bones had said not to, that he would call a roofer, but it was supposed to rain again tonight, and the roofer couldn't come until Monday, and he didn't have anything else to do this Saturday, so….

Jim carefully placed a ladder in the flower bed outside of the dining room. He made sure it was securely in place against the eaves, then quickly climbed the rungs, carrying a plastic bag containing a tarp and some waterproof tape, and stepped gingerly onto the roof.

Not one to suffer from a fear of heights, he hadn't thought twice about climbing up there to perform this quick, temporary fix. But now that he was actually on the roof, and looking up the incline he would have to traverse to get to where the leak was, he found he had to take a steadying breath before he could straighten and let go of the ladder. The edge of the roof was only about ten or eleven feet off the ground, but he'd be walking up to a point much higher than that.

Once he felt steady, he made his way up the roof, feeling more confident as his sneakers provided good traction on the tiles with each step. When he was pretty sure he was at the point where the leak was, he took out the blue tarp and shook it open. He planned to cover a large enough area so that even if his guess was a little off, it should still be protected by the plastic. As he started to spread the tarp out, the bag hanging from his wrist was an annoyance. The weight of the roll of tape caused it to swing in his way, and between the bag and the slight breeze that kicked up every now and then, it was difficult to get the tarp down smoothly.

 _This is really a two-person job,_  Jim thought. But he'd have to work around it. There's no way Bones would be able to help him with this. Crouching down, he fumbled with the bag, trying to get the tape out without letting go of the tarp.

"Oh, come on," he mumbled. Frustrated, Jim put a knee down on the tarp to hold it in place so he could use both hands…

…and then he was sliding. The smooth tarp slipped a few inches under his weight. Startled by the movement, Jim threw his weight backwards, bringing his back in contact with the roof, and registering a pulled feeling in his thigh as he stretched tendons and muscles that didn't normally have that much give. His hands hit the tiles helplessly, automatically looking for something to grab on to, though nothing was there.

Staying still for a second, breathing hard, he looked around as he assessed the situation. The position he was in was uncomfortable, but he wasn't sure how he could get himself out of it. The incline of the roof was steep enough that he needed the traction of his sneakers to keep him upright, and there wasn't anything to hold on to and brace himself against in order to get back up.

"Damn it!" Annoyed with himself, he could practically hear Bones telling him he shouldn't have been up there in the first place. "Okay…okay…just take it slow," he murmured. He could do this, he just couldn't let himself get freaked out. He slowly shifted his weight forward onto the foot that was still on the roof tiles. He started to push himself up, and started sliding again.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He continued to slide forward, and he wasn't able to stop his momentum. Desperate, he pushed himself backward again, despite the strain in his leg, but it didn't help. His knee finally slipped off the slick tarp, but then dragged over the tile, and without anything to hold on to, his inertia pitched him forward.

Falling forward with cry, he threw his hands out to brace himself, hit the roof face first, then rolled. He scrabbled at the tile, tearing his nails but not noticing that damage. The only thing he could think to do was try to turn his body so he didn't hit the ground head first. Screaming again, for several frightening seconds he was in the air, the sky the only thing he could see, and then he hit the ground hard, left shoulder and leg taking the brunt of fall.

With a sickening  _pop!_  Jim heard as much as he felt, pain ripped through his shoulder and side, and the wind was knocked out of him completely. Laying there, struggling for breath, he rolled slightly onto his back. His eyes teared with the pain in his shoulder as he gasped like a fish out of water, desperate for a full breath.

Leonard was folding clothes in the living room when he heard Jim's scream. Startled, he dropped what he was doing. That was not a sound he wanted to hear…ever.

"Jim! Jim, where are you?"

Thinking it came from outside, he bolted out the front door, scanned the front yard and then ran around the side, and his heart nearly stopped at the sight that greeted him. One glance at the ladder and the tarp that was half-hanging off the roof, and he knew exactly what had happened.

"Jim! Jim! Oh, god…ok…you'll be ok…" He dropped to his knees beside Jim. "No, no…don't move. Don't turn your head."

"Bones," Jim wheezed. "Fuck, it hurts."

"What Darlin'? What hurts? Don't…don't move your head, Jim," Leonard said again. He placed a hand on Jim's forehead to remind him to be still. He felt panicky, his heart pounding, and he realized his hands were shaking. Taking a deep breath, he blew it out slowly, and made a conscious effort to put "doctor" in front of "loved one".

"My shoulder," Jim groaned. "And my side. Hurts to breathe."

"You got your wind knocked out of ya good, didn't you Darlin'?" Terrified that there might be a serious neck or spine injury, he reached down and put his fingers in Jim's right hand. "Can you squeeze my fingers?"

"Yeah," Jim did, and Leonard relaxed minutely.

"How about your left?"

"No, ow, oh, fuck, don't touch me please," Jim said between clenched teeth. He squeezed his eyes closed and held his breath, waiting for the pain to recede slightly. Despite his words, he did manage to exert slight pressure on Leonard's fingers. "What's wrong with me?" he asked, when he managed to get the breath.

"I think you might've dislocated your shoulder. Painful, but not serious. Can you move your feet?"

"Yeah," Jim said, and he demonstrated.

Leonard felt himself relax slightly. "Hang in there, Jim. Be still, okay. Don't move," he said calmly, fumbling to pull his cellphone out of his pocket.

"Okay," he coughed slightly, then groaned in pain. "Ow, oh…that hurt."

Leonard pressed his lips together when he saw a little blood on Jim's lips. Not good.

"You bite your tongue when you fell?" he asked

"No, I did that when I hit the roof face first," Jim said wryly. "Who're you calling?" He added, catching sight of the phone in Bones' hand.

Leonard hesitated, not sure how Jim would take this. "9-1-1," he replied. "We need to get you to the hospital."

Jim felt his heart jump into his throat and his eyes widened. "What? No…Bones…" He tried to shift slightly, gasping in pain as he did, the muscles in his left arm twitching in response, and Leonard dropped the phone to use both hands to keep Jim's head still.

"Jim please, please don't move. Don't try to get up. If you landed on your side hard enough to dislocate your shoulder, you could've hurt your neck or spine in a way that we can't tell. You need to stay still. And you're not breathing right."

"It hurts to breathe," he admitted. "Hurts on the left side."

"Well, you maybe damaged your ribs, too. Jesus, Jim," Leonard said, looking around for the phone he dropped, desperate to call for help.

Jim grimaced. "I know…I should've listened to you."

Leonard agreed, but now was not the time. "That doesn't even matter Jim. All that I care about is that you're okay."

"Hey…you guys all right over there?" Another man's voice from the sidewalk caught Leonard's attention. He looked up and recognized their new neighbor they'd met a couple of times, and who seemed nice enough.

"No…we need help!" Leonard called back. The man jogged over to them.

"What can I do?" he asked, picking up the phone Leonard had been trying to find.

"Call 9-1-1. I'll tell you what to say," Leonard replied, gesturing to the device in his hand.

"Bones, please," Jim said again, distress in his voice. "I don't need an ambulance. Just…let me get up and you can drive me. I'm okay." Leonard reached to take Jim's hand on his uninjured side and held it tightly, keeping the other on his forehead to keep him from moving.

Leonard knew this was something Jim dreaded, but there was nothing for it. "Jim, yes, you're probably mostly fine. But you fell from a pretty good height, and you fell hard. We can't risk it if there's something more serious wrong." He leaned over to bring his lips close to Jim's ear. "I know you're scared, but I need you to trust me. Okay?"

Jim swallowed hard and closed his eyes. "Okay," he whispered back.

The neighbor – whose name Leonard couldn't remember – had called for help and given the address, and now was looking at Leonard for what to say.

"Thirty-one year old male fell approximately 10 or 11 feet off a roof," Leonard paused while that information was repeated. "Dislocated shoulder, possible neck or spinal injury, airway is clear, but breathing is painful, possible internal bleeding – "

"I just bit my tongue," Jim mumbled. Leonard ignored him. That could very well be true, but there was blood – they had to know why.

"Patient is alert and responsive, and tell them there's a doctor on scene," Leonard finished.

"They'll be right here," the neighbor said. "Can I do anything else to help?"

"Thank you…."

"Rob," the man filled in.

"Rob." Leonard said, and hesitated. He needed his wallet and keys and to lock the house. And he wasn't leaving Jim. But he didn't know this guy.

"Bones," Jim said, sounding a little breathless. "Don't let them do anything to me."

"Hey…you're going to be fine, Jim…" he paused as he noticed that Jim had started shaking slightly. Over the years Jim had, for the most part, learned to deal with his phobia when he was in a controlled, predictable medical setting. But this situation was obviously too much for him. Wanting him to stay as calm as possible, Leonard leaned down to speak to him quietly again. "I got 'ya, Darlin'. I'm staying right here. I'm not leaving and no one's going to do anything to you that you don't agree to. I promise, you hear me? This is not you as a child, Jim," Leonard continued, referring to the event that had had such an impact on Jim when he was a boy, it followed him right into adulthood.

"Yeah," Jim said quietly, gripping his hand so tightly. "Just…don't let me go."

"I won't, Jim. I won't."

Straightening up, he turned to Rob who was still standing there, and Leonard realized he could hear sirens in the distance. There was nothing for it. He'd just have to trust him. "Could you go into the house and get my wallet and keys? They're both on the table by the door. And could you lock the front door?"

"Sure, one sec," Rob replied. He ran towards the front of the house to do as he was asked.

"What about Jo?" Jim asked.

Leonard had thought of that. She was with Janie and Aurelan for the day, so he wasn't immediately concerned about her. "They're not even supposed to be back till tonight. We'll give them a call a little later."

Jim's grip tightened on Leonard when the ambulance audibly turned onto their street. It came to a stop on the street by them, and before Leonard knew it, two paramedics were there with them, carrying their equipment, including a backboard.

They joined Leonard, where he knelt with Jim, placing their equipment and bags down within easy reach.

"I'm Randy," the older, bald paramedic said. "This is my partner, Paul. What happened here?"

"He landed on his side from the roof," Leonard said. "I think his shoulder is dislocated."

"Did you move him?" Randy asked.

Leonard shook his head. "No, he rolled on to his back on his own. I found him just like this."

Paul leaned over Jim, and began digging through his bag as Randy moved the backboard so it was down a couple of feet away from Jim.

"You the doctor?" Randy asked as Rob jogged back over to them.

"Yeah," Leonard affirmed. "Thanks, Rob. I appreciate it," he said as he accepted his keys and wallet.

"No problem. I hope everything turns out okay," Rob replied. As focused as he was on Jim, Leonard didn't even respond as Rob moved away from them.

"Doc, you comfortable holding C-spine while we get him stabilized?" Randy asked.

"Yeah, no problem. Jim, I'm going to move around to your head," he said, pulling free of Jim's grasp on his hand. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Okay," Jim said nervously. "But why? I'm okay, right? I can move my feet and..."

"Just a precaution, Darlin'," Leonard replied soothingly as he firmly cradled Jim's head in his hands from his new position to keep him from moving. He looked down into Jim's eyes and smiled slightly, doing his best to project the calm he knew Jim needed to see. "We just want to make sure there's nothing seriously wrong, and until we can know for sure, we need to keep you still."

With Jim temporarily stabilized, Randy left to get something from the ambulance, and Paul leaned over Jim, a penlight in his hand as he checked his pupillary reflexes. "Sir, can you tell me your name and where you are?"

"Jim. I'm at home," he said. "I'm fine."

"You're a little banged up Jim, but you will be fine. We're going to pack you up and take you to the hospital. Can you tell me what year it is?"

Jim answered all the questions unhesitatingly as Paul checked his head for signs of damage, but Leonard wasn't surprised. Jim had been completely lucid with him the whole time.

As they worked, going through some of the same things Leonard had already done, Leonard could feel and see that Jim was calming slightly, the trembling that shook his body initially fading away, his voice becoming steadier as he spoke.

Having measured Jim's neck by using his hand as a reference, Randy came back carrying something Jim couldn't quite make out from his angle on the ground.

"What's that?" he asked as Randy knelt back down beside them.

"Jim, this is a collar we're going to put on your neck to protect your spine. It might feel a bit weird, but it shouldn't hurt."

"No, I don't need that. I'm fine," Jim protested, eyes wide. "Bones…"

"It's okay, Jim. It's just going to do the same thing I am, so I can have my hands back. It's just a splint to keep you still," Leonard said. He removed his hands, and before Jim could say "no" again, Randy was fastening the c-spine collar around his neck.

Jim clenched his jaw and tried to control his breathing, but it immediately felt too hot and tight, and he felt trapped. And he flashed back to that child waking up in pain, being surrounded by adults he didn't know, and not being able to move…the remembered pain and fear crowded out the self-control he was desperately trying to maintain, and his bottom lip trembled as he started shaking again.

Leonard was saying something to him, squeezing his hand tightly, but Jim was quickly moving beyond the ability to listen and keep calm. The claustrophobic feeling that the collar caused was exacerbated by the pain he felt in his ribs every time he breathed. Something else was wrong…he could feel it.

Opening his eyes, Jim found Leonard looking down at him, and pleaded with him, "B-Bones, Bones…I can't have this on…I can't, please!" He stopped, swallowing hard and squeezing his eyes closed again as he shuddered. "I don't need it, I'll stay still. Please take it off!"

"Sir, after a fall like that, we need to protect your spine," Randy said calmly. "You're doing fine."

"No, please... no... God, no... take it off... please..." Jim's breathing was becoming more labored, shallow and rapid.

Paul slipped a hand down to his wrist and his eyes told Leonard exactly how tachycardic Jim was becoming. "Sir, you need to calm down."

If anything, Jim's expression became more frantic. "I can't... I can't breathe. Please..."

Resisting the urge to panic at Jim's distress, Leonard met Paul's eyes and ordered, "Get it off him. Now."

At a quick nod from Randy, Paul reached over and undid the velcro on the collar, carefully lifting it away. Instantly, Jim gulped air in great gasping breaths, wincing with pain from his ribs, but too relieved to be able to breathe again to stop.

"Shh, easy there Darlin'," Leonard said softly, holding Jim's hand tightly and staying focused on those blue eyes, wide and frightened. "You're okay, just take regular breaths."

Jim closed his eyes as they watered, with it enough to be embarrassed by the tears that tracked down the sides of his face, but unable to hold them back.

"It's okay, Jim, you're okay," Leonard said again, placing a gentle hand on his chest. He looked up at the paramedic who'd taken over holding Jim's head still. "He's dealing with a phobia of anything medical, and I think this is too much like what started that all up in the first place."

Paul and Randy both gave a sympathetic look, and Randy said, "I understand, but we can't transport him without doing something to protect his c-spine."

Paul thought a moment, then suggested, "If we can hold manual stabilization until we get him on the backboard, we can pad him with towel rolls. It won't be ideal, but it should be enough."

Leonard nodded. "That would be better, I think. How 'bout you, Jim?" he asked, trying to keep him involved and feeling like he had some say as to what was happening.

"I don't want to... to do any of this. God... please, just let me up."

"I promise you," Randy said to Jim, "we're going to take care of you the way we'd take care of our own brother. But you need to relax. Can you breathe easy for us?"

"Jim, I'm going to hold your head so the guys can work, okay Darlin'? You just keep looking right at me."

"Yeah," Jim agreed as Leonard took his place, distracting Jim until Paul began snipping his way up his t-shirt with a pair of scissors. He tensed as his shirt opened under the blades.

"Why are you doing that? Bones…what is he doing?" Jim asked, flashing back to the feeling of violation as strangers cut his clothes of him, hands moving over his body, when he was a child. His shook as his heart pounded, making him pant shallowly.

Leonard knew, though. He knew what Jim would be thinking about, and looked down into his eyes, hating the fear he saw there. "Jim, they need to splint your shoulder and check your ribs, and before they do that, they need to see it." It was painful to see Jim so frightened, but they needed to do this. Jim had been sweating – a reaction from the pain and stress he'd been feeling – but now goosebumps raised on his arms and other exposed skin as Paul gently worked his shirt off. Though he'd been pale earlier, now Jim was flushed in his face and down his neck.

"Easy there, Darlin'," Leonard murmured. "You're okay."

Jim didn't answer, but he raised his right arm to Leonard and needing contact, gripped one of Leonard's arms as he held his head. He lay quietly, trembling, keeping his eyes on Leonard. His breathing, though faster than normal, wasn't strained. Leonard watched as Randy worked over Jim's lower body, looking for damage to the lower limbs and removing Jim's sneakers.

"Anything hurt down here, Jim?" he asked.

"I... I don't think so," Jim said, eyes darting frantically back and forth between Leonard's face and the paramedic who was out of his field of vision anyway.

"That's good. Wiggle your toes for me? Can you feel me touching your feet?"

"Yes... yes, I can... ow, fuck!"

The younger medic had begun palpitating across Jim's ribs, and Leonard re-focused on that to see a massive bruise already blossoming across Jim's chest. "I'm sorry about that, sir. I needed to check your ribs," Paul said.

"Mission... accomplished... ouch," Jim gasped.

"Are you still having trouble breathing?" Paul looked over at Randy, who was grabbing a sling and some padding.

"It's not exactly easy," he replied. Jim tried to look down to see what was happening, eyes wide and frantic at the sight of the materials Randy had in his hands. "Please... please just... I don't need you guys to do this. Bones will take care of it. He's a doctor. It's okay. It's okay..."

"Jim," Leonard said firmly, forcing Jim to look up at him. "You need to do this. It is going to be okay, but we need to take care of you. They're just taking care of you, and I'm staying right here. I know it's hard, but please, Darlin', try to relax."

"I can't, I can't," Jim pled. "It's too much, Bones…"

They were cut off as Randy began working the sling as gently as possible around Jim's arm. Jim whimpered in pain each time the movement caused his shoulder to shift, but after a minute, his arm seemed to be fairly well immobilized.

"We really need to get him moving," Paul said softly to Leonard, but without room for debate. "He's starting to show possible signs of shock. The tachycardia might be nerves, but we shouldn't risk it, especially if his breathing is compromised. We need to get him on the backboard. Have you log-rolled a patient before?"

"Not for years," Leonard said.

"Well, with his c-spine unsecured, we're going to need more than just me and Paul," Randy said.

"I can do it," Leonard replied. "But one of you hold his head."

Randy nodded and traded places with Leonard. Once in position, Leonard looked down at Jim. "Hey Darlin', we're gonna have to move you here, okay? I promise we'll be as careful as possible, but it's going to hurt a bit because of your shoulder."

"I can move myself..."

"Sir," Paul cut in, "All you need to do is relax, and we'll do all the work, okay? We're going to roll you onto your uninjured side and slide the board underneath." Then he looked up at Randy. "You've got the head, so we'll move on your count."

Randy nodded his approval. "Okay, one, two, three!"

Jim screamed. Leonard's blood ran cold at the sound. "Set him down!"

The backboard was barely under Jim's shoulder, and his face had taken on a sudden pallor, a sickly gray-green. "I can't... I can't... oh God... my shoulder... ribs... it hurts..." He was gasping shallowly. "I think I'm gonna throw up."

"No you're not, Darlin'," Leonard said quickly. He didn't want that. "Take some deep breaths, slow. That's good. You're okay. You're not going to throw up. Breathe, that's it."

As the pain receded, Jim's color got a little better, and he swallowed. "Still feel a little sick," he murmured. "But I'm not gonna throw up."

"Good Darlin', that's good," Leonard replied.

Randy looked at Leonard, then down at Jim. "Okay, plan B. We're going to give you some pain meds before we move you. Paul, you get him on some O2 and I'll get the supplies."

Leonard and Randy traded places again, Leonard once more cradling Jim's head. He rubbed his thumbs across Jim's forehead soothingly.

"They're going to what?" Jim asked. "Bones... no... I don't want drugs. Please, no drugs. What if I'm allergic? What if..."

"You know I know your allergies, Jim," he said calmly. Looking up at Randy as he returned from the ambulance, Leonard said, "He's not allergic to fentanyl. He's had it before."

"That's fine," Randy said. "That's what I've got here."

Jim flinched in surprise as Paul reached over and settled a mask on his face.

"Just keep breathing, sir. It's just oxygen. Should make it a bit easier with your ribs hurting like that."

"I don't like it," Jim said, muffled. His eyes found Leonard's, begging to be released. The moisture from his breath was fogging up the mask. "Bones..."

"I'm here, Jim. I'm here, and I'm not going to leave you."

"Please let me get up. I just need to... to go back... to the house. You can fix my shoulder. I knew a guy... a guy in high school... with a trick shoulder. It would pop out. He'd just pop it back in. You can do that to me. It'll be fine. Please... please, Bones..."

Leonard cast a glance up at Randy, who was prepping the IV equipment, and seemed to be just about ready. He gave Randy a quick nod, then looked back down at Jim. "Darlin', listen to me. You don't have a trick shoulder. You have a shoulder that got crunched into the ground because you fell off the roof, and I'm not an orthopedist. You've got some ribs that are badly bruised if not broken. And you could have a spinal injury."

"I don't... what is he doing?" Jim yanked his hand away as Randy swabbed it with alcohol.

"He needs to start an IV, Jim. You've done that before. No big deal, right?" Leonard said. Not looking happy about it, but at least not fighting, Jim allowed Randy access to his hand. "We're going to get you to the hospital, and we're going to try to do it with as little pain as possible. To do that, Randy here is gonna give you some pain meds."

"Little pinch," Randy said as he slid the IV start into Jim's hand.

Jim flinched, but he didn't flail. Randy nodded that the start was successful, and Leonard relaxed a bit.

"That's good, Jim. That's real good. And this is going to be nothing like what happened before, okay? It's an injury. We'll get you to the hospital, get you patched up, and you'll come home."

"I'm already home."

"You're on the ground in your front yard, Darlin', and you know you're hurtin' too much to roll over for yourself, much less get to the house. And you know I'm right." Leonard glanced up again to see Randy starting the fentanyl push.

"I just wanted to fix the roof," Jim mumbled behind the mask.

Leonard smiled slightly. "I know."

"The pain should be getting better any second, Jim. How are you doing with that?"

"It hurts like hell," Jim said.

"This will take care of that, Jim. It's a short-acting drug. Just long enough to get you to the hospital." As Leonard watched, some of the strained lines of tension and pain on Jim's face started to relax. "That's better, Darlin'. Much better." He looked over at the two paramedics. "Ready."

"Bones..."

"It won't hurt as much this time, Jim." Then, as he stayed at Jim's head, he counted to the paramedics, who had positioned themselves to move Jim, "One, two, three."

Jim let out a tight whine of discomfort, but a second later, he was on the backboard. The paramedics went into high gear, quickly padding around Jim's arm, shoulder, neck, and head with rolled towels. A piece of folded tape across his forehead secured his head between two rolls – not as effective without a collar, but better than a panic attack. As soon as he was secure, Leonard released his hold on Jim's head and stepped back.

"Bones!"

"I'm still here, Darlin'. I just need to let them get you on the stretcher." God, he just wanted to grab Jim's hand. Instead, he listened to Jim's noises of distress and pain as the paramedics lifted him, backboard and all, onto the stretcher.

"If you want to grab that bag, Doctor, that would be a big help."

"Oh... yeah, right... got it." Leonard knew exactly what Randy was doing by giving him a bag to carry, and at that moment, he didn't care. It helped. He scooped up the duffel and hurried after them.

A moment later, Jim was loaded into the back of the ambulance. Paul hurried around to the front of the rig and climbed into the driver's seat while Randy got settled in the back.

"You can take the captain's chair, doc," Randy said, indicating the bucket seat up at the head of the stretcher, towards the front of the cabin.

"No! Can't see... can't see you up there," Jim said, slurring slightly.

"Can I sit there?" Leonard asked, pointing to the single seat where he'd be able to reach Jim's right hand.

"Don't see why not. If it'll keep him calm, that seems best."

Leonard shifted around and maneuvered into the seat, buckling himself in before reaching for Jim's hand. Jim was still shaking slightly, but he was surprisingly was quiet as Randy double-checked the straps on the stretcher, re-connected the non-rebreather mask to the on-board oxygen supply, and hung the IV bag from a hook on the ceiling. As he was doing that, the ambulance started to move. No sirens, for which Leonard was grateful. That would just make Jim more nervous.

Randy settled himself down on the long bench on Jim's left side. "Doc, could you check his peripheral perfusion, and then hit that button right there and slip that pulse-ox onto his finger? How are you doing, Jim?" he asked conversationally as checked Jim's pupil response once more.

"I'm scared."

The tremor in his simple answer, the open honesty... those were things Jim would never let anyone else see. The fentanyl, the mild shock... whatever it was, Jim was being honest. Leonard tried not to let it affect him too much as he checked Jim's pulse and capillary refill before sticking the pulse-ox monitor on Jim's finger.

"Three seconds on cap refill," Leonard announced softly.

Randy nodded, then turned his attention right back to Jim. "I know you're scared, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact... you know why I went into this career all those years ago? Because I was terrified of anything medical. Doctors, nurses, medics... all of it. But when I decided to join the volunteer fire department in my town, they told me I had to get my EMT license. I faced my fears, and realized I loved it, so I became a paramedic. Can you still feel that?" he asked, reaching over and lightly squeezing Jim's fingers on his left hand.

"Yes," Jim replied without hesitation.

Randy took a moment to check Jim's pulse and capillary refill on the injured arm, then grabbed his stethoscope. "None of this stuff is black magic, Jim. It's just a bunch of really simple technology, here to help people out when they get themselves banged up." Then he stuck the stethoscope in his ears and set himself to listening to Jim's breathing.

Jim was quiet while he did that, but he looked up at Leonard, eyes still scared, but less frantic. His breathing was still a bit too fast and a bit too shallow, but considering how much his ribs must be hurting, it didn't seem unreasonable. His breath fogged the inside of the oxygen mask every few seconds.

Leonard smiled at him, eyes gentle, appreciating the way Randy put some humanity into the situation by sharing his story, giving Jim something to think about other than his own discomfort and fear. It helped.


	2. Chapter 2

A short while later, they arrived at the hospital. It wasn't Leonard's hospital, and Jim knew it. Right away he was concerned about being separated, but Leonard calmed that fear before Jim could get worked up over it. "I'll be with you, Jim," he promised as Randy got ready to transfer him out of the ambulance. "No one's going to make me go anywhere."

Despite his reassurance, Jim kept a vice-like grip on Leonard as he was wheeled into the E.R. He could see Jim's breath fogging the oxygen mask he still wore as his heart rate picked up again. As they walked through the department, Leonard looked around. It seemed as if it was pretty quiet, for which he was grateful. The quicker Jim could be seen, the better.

They were directed to a partitioned off cubicle, a nurse listening to the run-down Randy was giving her while the gurney was positioned next to a bed. Leonard hoped he was cluing her in on Jim's phobia as well.

Jim watched wide-eyed as people surrounded him, nudging Leonard out of the way. His rapid breathing kept the mask fogged, and he'd started shaking again. The nurse looked down at their connected hands.

"Sir, if you could please back away…" the nurse started.

"No," Jim shouted, panic in his voice. "No, Bones, don't let me go…don't leave me, please!" His breaths were becoming gasps and he trembled in fits as all the calm they'd worked for was gone in an instant.

"I'm not, Jim, I'm not. I'm right here," Leonard replied. He looked up as more people joined them, hearing the commotion, including a doctor.

"Sir, you're going to be fine," he said, moving to stand at Jim's head. "You need to just stay calm." He looked around at the people surrounding Jim's gurney. "Let's move him on three." He nodded at Leonard, looking down at their connected hands. "And that's fine as long as he stays calm."

Leonard nodded, and the doctor continued, "Okay, on three… Why is he not in a collar?"

They transferred Jim to the bed and then Randy replied, "He panicked – couldn't handle it. Keep Leonard with him to keep him calm." He tossed off a little salute to them that Leonard hardly noticed, he was so focused on Jim. "Good luck, guys."

"Thanks," Leonard replied distractedly.

Jim tried to focus on what was happening around him, and he heard the doctor order that something be given to him that he didn't recognize. Jim wanted to scream,  _STOP DRUGGING ME!_ , but he couldn't catch his breath. Instead he squeezed Bones' hand, catching his eyes.

"Bones…"

"It's okay, Jim. You're not allergic to that. It's just for pain."

Things happened pretty fast after that. People moved around them, working around Leonard's presence, to check Jim's pulse, blood pressure and respiration. Noting that there was the possibility of internal bleeding, the E.R. doctor moved to palpitate Jim's abdomen, checking for soreness or guarding that could indicate an internal problem.

At the first clinical touch on his midsection, Jim completely froze up, all of his muscles going rigid and he visibly shook. "No, no stop!" Jim begged, his voice muffled by the oxygen mask that was completely fogged by his fast breathing. "Don't touch me, don't! Bones…"

"Jim, you're okay. It's okay," Leonard said. He could hear Jim's harsh breathing in the mask, and knew that a full-blown panic attack was imminent.

"Are you in pain?" The doctor asked, taken aback by Jim's reaction.

Jim panted behind the mask. "No, no…I'm not hurt…just don't, please, don't touch me…" The doctor glanced at Leonard over Jim's prone form, and removed his hands. There was obviously another issue going on here.

"Take the mask off, please, please, I…" Jim let go of Leonard's hand and clawed at the mask. "I can't breathe! Bones, please, help me! I want to get up. I need to get up now!"

His gasping took on a pained quality, and Leonard barely heard the doctor ask for a sedative. Ignoring everyone else in the room, Leonard quickly took the mask off of him, removing it completely and letting it drop to the floor. He took Jim's hand again, holding him tightly, feeling him shake as he leaned over him. He cocooned Jim with his arms to provide a safe, quiet space between the two of them he could focus on, and spoke to him soothingly. "You're okay, Jim…shh. You're hyperventilating again. Take a deep breath with me, hold it…..let it out slow, that's right. Do it again…and again…I know you're scared, but you're safe here. I'm here, not leaving, and you're safe."

"Bones," Jim said, his voice tight with unease. "I don't want anyone to touch me and I want to get up." A breath hitched in his chest and he swallowed, closing his eyes. "Please,  _please_ , just get me out of here."

Leonard's heart broke at Jim's plea, and he gently stroked Jim's hair away from his forehead. "I know you want to go, Darlin'. I know. We gotta let them fix your arm, first. And you can get up soon. Very soon. We just have to know your neck and spine are okay. I promise." He brushed his lips across Jim's cheek. "I'm so sorry this is so hard."

"Not your fault," Jim whispered.

The doctor paused before administering the sedative, watching as Jim calmed, and seeing the effect of it on the monitors. He knew a panic attack when he saw it. He exchanged a glance with the neuro consult who was called down and made the decision to clear the room of everyone but a single nurse. It was obvious that this patient needed some additional consideration and a lot of people would only make him feel crowded. They waited a few moments, until Jim was breathing more or less normally and Leonard straightened up.

"Okay, feeling better, sir?" the doctor asked quietly.

"Yeah," Jim whispered, closing his eyes as they watered. Leonard gently wiped the tears from Jim's lashes.

The neuro consult moved in and ran Jim through the same checks that they'd done in the field, and a couple of other basic diagnostics to determine if there was a problem they couldn't see. After a few minutes, he stepped away, and Leonard felt Jim release a pent up breath of relief.

"Jim, I think your spine and neck are fine, but we're going to send you for an x-ray, just to confirm, then we'll be able to fix that shoulder, and let you up, and I think that'll help. What do you think?"

"Yes," Jim said. "But I just…I just really need Bones."

"Okay…he can stay with you most of the time," the doctor replied. "Call me when you have the films," he said to the E.R. doctor, then slipped out of the room.

"Jim, there was a note that there was blood in your mouth. I was pressing on your abdomen to see if I could feel anything that might be causing internal bleeding. Can I finish that?"

"I bit my tongue when I fell," Jim replied, closing his eyes again.

The doctor took a penlight out of his pocket and clicked it on. "Can you open your mouth so I can see?"

Leonard backed away to give the doctor room, and Jim obliged. It only took a minute to see there was a laceration on his tongue. Not serious, it'd already stopped bleeding.

"Okay, I see that you did cut your tongue. But you fell from pretty high. It'd be really good if I could just finish checking you. May I?"

Jim hesitated and opened his eyes to look at Leonard. Funnily enough, this part, as simple as it seemed, – having a doctor palpitate his abdomen even during physical exams – was always a problem for Jim.

The look in Jim's eyes said everything Leonard needed to hear. It was too much for him right now. He was feeling too out of control, too vulnerable, too scared, and too ashamed of that fear.

"No," Leonard replied. "Let's hold off on that."

"Sir…"

"Doctor," Leonard replied. "I'm a doctor. I know the risks, Jim knows the risks. Maybe later when he's feeling a little better and his shoulder's been tended to. In the meantime, I'm not leaving, and I know what to look for."

The E.R. doctor tried again, because he had to, and Leonard respected him for that. "Doctor…"

"McCoy," Leonard filled in. "Leonard McCoy."

"Dr. Timmins," he said, introducing himself. "He has extreme bruising across his side…"

"He landed on his side," Leonard said. "I'm fairly certain he bruised his ribs. That's the decision Doctor. Not now."

Timmins pressed his lips together. "Jim, can you confirm this is what you want? To wait for the rest of the physical exam, against medical advice?"

"Yes," Jim replied unhesitatingly.

"Ok, well, let's get you to x-ray and we'll go from there."

Leonard took a couple of small, disposable blankets off a nearby cart and unfolded them over Jim, knowing that he would feel less exposed that way. "Thanks," he said quietly.

"No problem, Darlin'," Leonard said. He took Jim's hand and walked beside the bed as he was wheeled down to x-ray. In the room, Leonard spoke quietly to him, telling him he'd be right in the control room, that he could see him. Jim was okay with separating from Leonard for this. He lay quietly, eyes closed, as the tech got the images he needed, including a couple specifically for his ribs and shoulder, which was getting more and more uncomfortable.

When they were done, Leonard came back into the room and gently brushed his hand over Jim's forehead, pushing his hair back. "Darlin', you did good. You hangin' in there?"

Jim sighed. "Yeah. My arm hurts like a bitch and I really want to sit up, though."

"I know you do. Soon," Leonard promised again.

They went back to the E.R., and moments later were joined by the doctor providing the neuro consult. "Okay, Jim…everything looks okay with your neck and spine, so let's get this off of you."

"Finally!" Jim exclaimed, so relieved that he would finally be released. The doctor removed the tape that was securing him down, and then removed the towels.

Jim rolled his eyes at Leonard, "Told you I was fine," he said, trying not to sound accusatory, but so much of what he'd gone through could've been avoided if they'd just listened to him. It was frustrating.

"Just wanted to make sure, Darlin'," Leonard said easily. By now, he was very familiar with Jim's moods when he was dealing with medical stuff. He swung between frightened and belligerent and apologetic and everything in between. Feeling vulnerable, feeling scared, feeling out of control…it all affected him and made him unpredictable. But Leonard understood. The only thing he cared about was that Jim was okay.

"You ready to sit up?" the doctor asked. "Or are you comfortable as you are?"

"I want to sit up," Jim said. "Now please."

"Okay, we have to get the backboard out from under you…"

A couple of techs came to help remove the backboard, and the pain from that motion had Jim clenching his jaw as his stomach threatened to rebel. Suddenly bathed in clammy sweat, his vision nearly blacked out before he managed to get a hold of himself. When he did come around, he was surprised to see that he was clutching Bone's whole arm, pressing his face to him as sounds of pain were forced out of him.

He'd never experienced pain like this…like a red-hot poker was being jammed into the joint, with all the wrongness of actually feeling that a bone was out of place…it was nearly overwhelming for a couple of seconds.

Dimly, he heard Bones talking to him, gently petting his hair, and he tried to focus on that. Gradually, he came back to himself as the pain receded back to a hot, aching throb.

"Oh, God," Jim groaned. "It hurts so bad…it's getting worse."

Dr. Timmins joined them as Jim panted, trying to get the pain under control.

"An orthopedist will be coming to see you…he'll be here any minute and he'll fix that shoulder. In the meantime," he continued, turning to a nurse, "let's do what we can to help you with pain management." He signed the chart and the nurse prepared the medication to be introduced via his IV.

The effect was quick, for which Leonard was grateful, and he felt Jim's body relax a little as the medication worked to take the edge off.

"You feeling up to finishing the exam?" Timmins asked when it was obvious Jim was calmed enough to be rational.

"No, thank you," Jim said.

_Well, at least he's polite about it,_ Leonard thought to himself.

"Mr. Kirk…"

"No, thank you," he repeated. "Bones, I want to sit up." Leonard hit the control on the bed that raised the head, bring Jim up so that he was no longer flat on his back. He winced as the change in position shifted the weight of his arm, and Leonard quickly grabbed another pillow to help support him.

Sighing, the doctor checked everything else he could, and satisfied that Jim's numbers were steady and didn't indicate a problem, let it go. "You're still breathing a little shallowly."

"My ribs still hurt," Jim said, sounding like he was leaving "idiot" out of it by the skin of his teeth. Only the way he was still clutching Leonard's hand indicated how he was really feeling, despite the insolent tone.

"Well, the orthopedist will address that too. Can I listen to your chest again?"

Jim nodded, and the doctor listened to both sides.

"Everything sounds fine, but we can put you on some oxygen…."

"No, no," Jim said quickly. "I'm fine."

Rolling his eyes, Timmins turned to the nurse, giving her instructions on what to be aware of for this highly strung patient, and Leonard narrowed his eyes slightly. So Jim wasn't the easiest patient…who were they to judge him at all for the way he felt? It wasn't their place.

"Bones," Jim said quietly.

Abandoning his train of thought, he turned his attention to Jim.

"You should call Aurelan or Sam…and we don't have a car to get home."

"You're right. I'll call now," he said, fishing his cellphone out of his pocket. Leonard made a quick call, explained what had happened, insisted that Jim was really was ok and that it wasn't necessary for everyone to come to the hospital, made sure they didn't mind keeping Joanna tonight, and arranged for Sam and Aurelan to work together to drop his car off at the hospital – while sparing a moment to be grateful that they had an extra set of their keys.

"Thanks so much, Sam. Just don't forget to text me the space number so I can find the car. No…we won't need anything when we get home. Jim'll just need to rest for a day or so. Okay….thanks…. goodbye."

Hanging up, he turned back to Jim, feeling such a rush of sympathy and love for him. Laying back on the slightly reclined bed, his knees pulled up a little in an effort to ease the ache from his ribs, eyes closed, his complexion didn't have any of his normal healthy color. He looked washed out and miserable and still in pain, if the furrow between his brows was any indicator.

Alone for the first time since this whole horrible thing started, Leonard came over to him and gently wrapped his arms around him, giving him a careful, tender hug.

"My poor Darlin'," he said. "I'm so sorry this happened to you."

Still hurting, still scared, and feeling overwhelmed, Jim let out a laugh that sounded more like a sob and pressed his face to Leonard's shoulder, holding on to him with his good arm. They stayed like that for a few moments, Leonard stroking his hair and giving his neck a squeeze, just holding him and thanking whoever was listening that holding him was still possible after that fall. He closed his eyes against the thought of what could've happened, unable to even approach it as a "what if".

Jim turned his head, still taking comfort from being held like that. "That's the first and last time I ever try to fix anything, Bones," he said.

Leonard pulled away, and Jim wiped his eyes. "That's fine with me, Jim. We'll find a fix-it guy and keep him on retainer."

Leonard drew over a chair and sat beside the bed, holding Jim's hand and bringing it up to his lips. They sat quietly for a few minutes, his eyes never leaving Jim's face as he sat there, only slightly reclined, with his eyes closed, trying to relax. After a short while, though, he squirmed slightly.

"Bones," he said, opening his eyes. "I really have to go to the bathroom."

Leonard took stock of Jim's situation. He was still in his jeans and socks, but his shoes had been left at the house. He was shirtless, left arm immobilized, and he hadn't been on his feet in a couple of hours by now, and had some pretty potent pain medication in him. Leonard knew that really the best thing to do in this situation is get him out of his jeans, put him in a robe and get him a bedpan. He also knew that would never fly and even just suggesting it would be a bad idea. So, despite the fact that he knew Dr. Timmins wouldn't approve, Leonard simply nodded and stood up.

"Okay, Darlin'. We'll just have to do this nice and easy. Let me do the work until it's time for you to stand." Jim nodded, and Leonard slid a hand behind his upper back. He levered Jim into sitting up, watching him wince as he used sore muscles to hold himself up. "You good?"

"Yeah," Jim said tightly.

"Alright, now your legs." Again doing the work, he pulled Jim's legs around until he was sitting sideways, then he lowered the bed so he could plant his sock-clad feet firmly. "Let me find you some slippers."

Jim waited as Leonard looked around, then made a quick trip to the nurses' station. He came back with a pair of disposable slippers in hand and bent to put them on Jim.

"How do you feel sitting up?" Leonard asked.

"Really sore, but not dizzy or anything. God, Bones…my arm is screwed up forever, isn't it? There's no way something that hurts this bad can ever really heal."

"No…no, hey…it's bad now, and it'll take a while to heal, but it'll be back to normal in a few weeks. We'll make some appointments with Mark – remember him? – and get you back in physical therapy for a few sessions. You're young…you'll heal up perfectly. Okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Jim replied, as always trusting Leonard completely. "I really gotta go, Bones."

"Okay, Jim." Taking the elbow of the uninjured arm Leonard helped him stand.

Jim groaned, but indicated that he was all right. Leonard grabbed the IV pole, and keeping one hand on Jim, together they made their way to the restroom closest to them.

"Do you need help?" Leonard asked as Jim stepped into the bathroom and wheeled his IV pole in behind him.

"No, I should be okay," he replied.

Leonard wasn't sure about that, but he wasn't going to push it. "I'm right here. Don't lock it, okay?"

He stood outside the door, deflecting a couple of people as he waited for Jim. After a couple of minutes, he knocked on the door. "Everything okay?"

Frustrated, Jim sighed heavily and then opened the door. "No," he admitted. "I do need help."

Leonard slipped into the bathroom and locked the door.

"I can't manage the buttons with one hand," he said, flushing.

Leonard noticed his uncharacteristic blush but just ignored it, undoing the buttons on his fly for him. He understood. It was the helplessness that was causing Jim's discomfiture. So instead of saying anything about it, he simply told Jim to call him if he needed help when he was finished, and slipped out of the bathroom.

Once they were settled back into waiting for the ortho doctor, it was only a few more minutes before he showed up, followed by a tech who moved behind the bed and unlocked the brakes to make the bed portable.

"Jim Kirk, I'm Dr. Hudson. Did a number on your shoulder, there, huh?"

"Yeah," Jim replied. "Is it bad? And what about my ribs?"

"Well, it's dislocated, so that's not good. But there's no other damage to the bones, so that is good. You will have also pulled ligaments and muscles, but this type of injury usually doesn't have particularly difficult lasting effects. It needs to be reduced – set the shoulder back in place – and you'll be in a sling for a couple of weeks, but you should recover nicely. Your ribs are bruised, but nothing's broken. You may feel sore for a couple of days, but that'll fade. A respiratory therapist will come by to see you to make sure your breathing isn't too constricted, but I can hear and see you're already doing okay, so that shouldn't be a problem."

"Finally some good news," Jim muttered, relieved that his ribs weren't going to cause him any more issues. He was sore, but he could breathe much easier than when he was strapped down, and he wondered how much of his breathlessness was because of his injury, and how much of it was because of his panic.

The doctor nodded, "Yes, you're lucky you don't have to deal with broken ribs too. So, let's get you moved to a procedure room to set that shoulder, and sir," he said, turning his attention to Leonard, "you can take a seat out in the waiting room…."

"What? No, no, wait!" Jim cried as the tech started pushing his bed. "Bones comes with me!"

Hudson paused, and Leonard knew exactly what he was thinking, though Jim did not. Not yet anyway.

"I'm a doctor, Dr. Hudson. I know what to expect," Leonard said.

Jim's eyes widened in alarm at that. "What to expect? Why? What should you expect? Bones?"

"Let's get settled in the other room, and I'll explain what we're going to do to fix that shoulder, okay?" Hudson said, catching Leonard's eye.

"Bones…"

"I'm coming, Jim." He turned to look at Hudson. "I'm coming. And I'm staying."

Hudson nodded, and led them out. Terrified by what was coming, by not knowing what was coming, Jim reached out for Leonard and caught the edge of his shirt. Leonard took his hand, pressing his lips together as he felt him shaking.

His bed was parked in a procedure room that was set up for what was going to happen, giving them a little more privacy, but doing nothing to calm Jim's fears.

Hudson rolled a stool over to Jim's bedside and took a seat to explain how he was going to reduce the shoulder.

Jim seemed to shrink in on himself a little, looking anywhere but at the doctor and wishing that he'd back up a little.

"So, Jim, basically what we have to do is work the arm so that the ball at the end of bone slips back into place in the joint. Of course we're going to numb the area with a nerve block, and give you muscle relaxants to counteract the way the muscle seizes up when there's an injury like this, and probably a sedative to help you keep calm and relaxed. It won't take long to fix it, and then we'll put you in a sling and send you on your way. Any questions?"

Jim mutely shook his head, though he looked like he was going to throw up.

"Okay, let's get this bed down…" Hudson looked over them at a nurse who'd joined them and she used the bed controls to bring the back down, laying Jim flat on his back.

"Wait, wait…" Jim said shakily, struggling to sit himself back up. "I don't want this…I don't…"

"Sir, you need to lie back…" the nurse started.

"Give us a second," Leonard interrupted. "Please."

The nurse backed off, and Jim turned his head to look at Leonard. "Is this going to hurt?" he asked in a small voice.

The doctor checked a sigh. "You'll have a nerve block and you'll be sedated…."

"Don't talk around it," Leonard said, knowing what Jim needed. It wasn't pain he was afraid of. It was not knowing what was going to happen to him. "Be honest, so he knows what to expect."

Jim looked at the ortho doctor who held Leonard's gaze for a moment before shifting his attention to him.

"Yes," he replied simply. "The medications will help. But it will hurt while we're manipulating the arm to get everything back in place. You're going to have to stay relaxed so that you don't tense against what I'm going to be doing, and it's probably going to feel like I'm doing more damage. But once the ball is back in the socket, it'll feel so much better immediately, you'll be amazed."

"So what are you going to do?" Jim asked, wanting more information.

"I'm going to take your arm by the wrist, here, and pull, and hold your elbow here, to help guide the arm back into position. Like I said, it is going to hurt, but it won't last long, and it'll feel better right away. But first, we're going to inject lidocaine directly into the joint, and that will help a lot. So…are you ready to get started?"

Jim swallowed and blew out a slow breath. "Yeah," he said quietly. "But no sedatives. The nerve block is fine, muscle relaxants are fine, but not sedatives. Understand?"

"Mr. Kirk, that's not really-"

"He tends to react badly to them," Leonard broke in. "Drops his bp, depresses his respiration. It really would be better to not use them."

"I'm not making any promises, but I'll do my best. Lucky for you, I'm good at my job. Okay…first let's get this off of you," Hudson said. He and a nurse worked to gently remove the brace that had been keeping Jim's arm stable while he breathed slowly and deeply, his lips pressed together against the pain. His sweaty grip on Bones' hand tightened as his brow furrowed, and Leonard could do nothing but hold on just as tightly.

Once it was off, the bed was adjusted so that Jim was lying flat on his back. He knew what the next step was, so he kept his eyes on Leonard's.

"Okay, Jim. The nurse is going to spray your arm right here," he touched a finger to where he was going to insert the needle for the nerve block, "and it's going to get really cold, and then you'll feel a big poke. Ready?"

"Yeah, just do it," Jim said tightly, turning his head away from them to lock eyes with Leonard. He jumped at the sound of the spray can, topically numbing the skin at his shoulder.

"Big poke, stay still for me," Hudson murmured. He pushed the needle into joint, depressing the plunger and depositing the lidocaine solution directly to the area. Jim bore it silently, squeezing his eyes closed and clenching his jaw until the needle was withdrawn. It took several seconds, but finally it was done and out, and Jim let out a huge breath. They administered the muscle relaxant as well, and then the doctor stepped back as the nurse made notes on his chart.

"Okay, we'll wait a couple of minutes, and then we'll get started. How are you doing there, Jim?"

"Fine," he said shortly. "I just want it done."

"I know. Can you feel me touching your shoulder here?" the doctor asked.

Jim hesitated before answering. It was a weird sensation. He could feel pressure from where the doctor pressed, but he couldn't feel the actual touch itself.

"Okay, good. We'll give it just another minute."

"You doin' okay Darlin'?" Leonard asked quietly. He gently wiped sweat from Jim's brow.

"Feel a little weird, kinda tired," Jim admitted, obviously concentrating to make the words clear.

"That's just the muscle relaxants. You're fine."

Jim blinked slowly. "Can't feel my arm."

"It's still there. You're doin' fine."

"Okay, Jim. I'm going to take hold of your wrist and elbow. You just stay relaxed and don't fight me. Let me move your arm, okay?"

"Bones…"

"Just look at me, Darlin', hold on to me," Leonard said. He looked into those blue eyes, cloudy with the meds he'd been given, but remained aware of what the doctor was doing. As the doctor gently rotated Jim's arm into the position he wanted, Jim gasped in pain, his back arching slightly in an attempt to counteract the movement.

"Oh, God….mmmmm, ow, shit…." Jim groaned, he squeezed his eyes closed, and felt a clammy sweat bathe his body again. The doctor didn't let up, though, pushing his arm up, his grasp on his wrist and at his elbow unyielding, until he couldn't take it anymore. "No, no stop…please, fuck!" Tears sprang to his eyes as he tensed against the doctor's hold, hot knives of shocking pain slicing through his shoulder.

"Just a bit more, you need to stay relaxed and stay still, Jim," Hudson said, freezing in his position until Jim could relax again. He caught Leonard's eyes, and raised his brows.

Leonard got the message. Do something or he'd order the sedatives.

"Jim, Jim…Darlin', look at me, look at me," Leonard said, placing a hand on the side of his face.

"Bones, it hurts so bad," Jim panted. "I can't take it."

"You need to relax, Jim…it hurts this much because you're fighting him. Take a deep breath with me, and hold it, okay? Ready…inhale…..Now let it out slowly, and relax your stomach, and relax your neck, and relax your legs…and now your arms. Let's do it again…"

Jim did his best to stay concentrated on Bones, listening to him, following his lead and gradually he managed to relax as some of the pain ebbed away. He blinked, trying to clear his eyes of the tears. He could feel the doctor again forcing his arm into position.

It got harder and harder to stand until he couldn't take it silently anymore. A grunt of pain forced itself from behind his teeth, and he let go of Bones' hand, twisting his grip in his shirt instead. His legs moved restlessly as he tried to deal with the discomfort as it got worse and worse, the pressure nearly unbearable…until something inside jerked into place with a wet snap!.

Jim let out a scream…mostly of surprise but also because of the bright flash of momentary agony…and the next thing he knew, he could feel his gorge rising in his throat. He didn't even get a chance to warn Bones before he threw up all over him, gasping as the convulsions pulled on his sore ribs, and the room darkened as his consciousness threatened to leave him.

He held on, though, keeping himself anchored to the light in the room by the barest of threads. And as he came back to himself, he could hear Bones reassuring him that everything was ok, that it was over. Calming further as he realized the pain he'd been in was so greatly lessened, his harsh gasping gradually shifted to regular breathing, and he registered the sour smell of his own vomit.

"Oh, God…I'm so sorry," he croaked, his throat burning as he blinked teary eyes, his body shaking in reaction to everything he'd been through, and feeling so very weak.

"It's not a big deal, Jim, really. We'll just clean up a bit, get you a sling, and get the hell out of here. How does that sound?"

"Yeah, get me out of here, please, Bones," Jim said, teeth chattering.

"Okay, Darlin', just relax and I'll take care of the paperwork and then we'll go."

And that's exactly what they did. True to his word, Leonard got Jim out of there as quickly as he could, prescription for pain medication and muscle relaxants in his hand along with samples to hold them over until he could fill the prescription. It was a short drive home in the car Sam and Aurelan had dropped off, and before long he was helping Jim to strip down so he could lie down and be as comfortable as possible.

"You're going to be pretty sore for a few days," Leonard said, handing Jim a couple of pills. Jim swallowed them with some water, then let himself lay back on the pillows, closing his eyes. Bones had so carefully helped him lie down, surrounding him with pillows to support the arm that was now in a sling, and keep him off his side that was bruised and sore. He'd done nothing but take care of him all day. "So you just try to stay relaxed as much as you can."

"Okay," Jim said. He felt sleepy, and fairly comfortable for the most part. He looked away for a moment, overcome with the knowledge of how loved he was, and how grateful he was for all the care Bones had taken with him today. "Bones, I just wanted to say how much I love you, and thank you for…"

"Jim," Leonard said, leaning down to kiss him. "You don't have to thank me for anything. I love you too."

Jim smiled at that, feeling the depth of that simple phrase. "Will you lie down with me?"

"Yes, I just want to call Sam and let them know we're home and you're fine, and see how Jo is. I'll be right back. Will you be okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go on, I'll be here."

"Okay. Be right back," Leonard said again.

He left Jim to rest in their bedroom and hurried down the stairs. When they got home, he'd noticed that someone, probably the neighbor, Rob, had picked up Jim's shoes and left them by the front door. He was grateful for that, and for all of the help Rob had provided. They'd have to invite his family over for dinner, or something like that, Leonard thought as he opened the front door and returned Jim's sneakers to their customary space just inside the entry way.

A quick call to Sam assured him and Jo that Jim was doing just fine, and that although painful, his injuries hadn't been serious, thank goodness. He could hear tears in Jo's voice as he assured her that he really was okay. At ten, she'd become such an empathetic, kind-hearted child, even the thought of someone she loved getting hurt was enough to upset her.

"Jim's really okay, Baby. His arm is going to be sore for a while, but he's not even in a cast. The only reason we called an ambulance was because we needed to make sure his neck was okay, and it is. He's fine."

"Maybe I should come home anyway, Daddy."

"Joanna, if you want to come home, you come. Aurelan will drive you. But Baby, all Jim's going to do today is sleep. The doctor gave him some medicine that's going to make him tired, so he just needs peace and quiet."

"Mmm…well, ok. Maybe I'll stay here tonight and come home tomorrow," Joanna said, feeling better about staying with Janie and playing there now that she'd talked to her father.

"Okay, Jo. That's fine. If you change your mind, you come on home, okay?"

_"_ Okay, Daddy. Tell  _oide_ I love him."

"I will Darlin'. See you tomorrow."

"Bye Baby."

Closing everything up downstairs, and satisfied that Jo was okay at Sam's, Leonard made his way back upstairs. He could hear the tv droning quietly in their bedroom, and the sight that greeted him pulled at his heart.

Surrounded by pillows, covered by the blanket they kept on their bed, Jim lay with his eyes closed, looking the most comfortable he'd seemed all day. It had been such a stressful, frightening day for him, it was no wonder he was exhausted, and Leonard had no doubt the medication he'd taken a little while ago was probably already working on him as well.

He changed quietly, and then carefully eased himself onto the bed, not wanting to jostle or wake Jim, but feeling like he just needed to be as close to him as possible. After watching Jim go through everything today, and seeing his responses to the things that terrified him the most, Leonard was still feeling very protective.

Jim opened his eyes when he felt the bed dip as Leonard joined him, and smiled slightly. Leonard lay down next to him on his right, uninjured side, and gently put his arm around him. Jim sighed as he lay against him.

"Thank you for taking care of me Bones. Even when I…freaked out. I…I don't know. I couldn't have gone through that without you."

Leonard kissed him softly. "Nothing to thank me for…just promise me…never do anything like that again."

"Promise. Seriously."

 


End file.
